Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!

I really hated 2008. I cannot wait for it to be over. I am especially sad because I don't get to kiss Pomona Boy at midnight tonight. I was supposed to go to The Factory (a club in West Hollywood) tonight with a few friends (actually, two couples), so I could watch them kiss at midnight and break them up. But on Monday my friends decided to stay home on New Years Eve instead and canceled on me. I was so bummed out. Now not only will I not be able to kiss Pomona Boy, but I also get to be alone, all by myself, eating junk and getting fat tonight. I HATE THIS!!! I am not even going to turn on the TV. I am going to bed at 8 PM!!!!!!!!!!

Pomona Boy did say he will give me 8 (New Years Eve kisses) when I go see him in January though... Ha ha. He'd better make it up to me.

Anyway, I wish whoever is reading this a very eventful New Years Eve (don't be like mine) and a prosperous 2009 filled with joy and love.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Have a great Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Happy New Year! I don't want any presents. I just want Santa:

Counting Down to Christmas!

Exactly 7 days from today, it'll be Christmas. I am looking forward to having just one day off, even though I do have to work on Wednesday and Friday. It sucks that Christmas and New Year fall on a Thursday this year and work is too busy for me to take Fridays off to make it a 4-day weekend. I guess it's better to be busy and not being able to take time off, than to not have a job on Christmas. :-)

Last weekend I went to see Pomona Boy and had a lot of fun hanging out with him. It was the weekend before his finals week but he tried to do as much work as possible before I went, so he could spend more time with me. He did not finish a paper and I wanted him to do it on Sunday, but he chose to lay down on his bed with me pretty much the whole day. He he he. Pomona Boy took his last final today and is at the airport as I am typing this, waiting for his flight to go home (Seattle). I AM going to miss him. I booked a flight to go see him in January. I am looking forward to the trip because I have never been to Seattle in winter, or a place that is equally cold. I plan to freeze to death. I cannot sleep at night if it's too cold, so it will be truly a reenactment of Sleepless in Seattle. Hopefully there will be something to do at night to keep me entertained since I can't sleep. Pomona Boy did say that he will make sure I am not cold at night. I am not quite sure what he meant by that. ;-p

Have a great week counting down to Christmas, everyone!

Fun Weekend

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Shopped -> Dropped

I must say that the Black Friday deals this year don't seem as good as last year. However I did go shop and got all (well, almost) of my Christmas shopping done. I just need to get some more stocking stuffers here and there. Overall, I think I did well and I am very proud of myself. Ha ha.

My philosophy for gift shopping is that if I am spending money to be nice to a family member or a friend, I need to be nicer to myself. So, this was how it went:

One gift for John
One gift for me...
One gift for Jane
One gift for me...
One gift for Joe
One gift for me...

LOL. I just came home, took out all the stuff I bought today, and then realized that the things I bought for myself are things I wouldn't normally buy anyway. I would go up and look at them and then just walk away. I guess the holiday spirit and the other shoppers around you do put you in the money-spending mood. I have to return some of the things I bought for sure...

One highlight during my shopping trip today was that somebody thought I worked at Abercrombie & Fitch when I was in there deciding what to get for myself my friends. She walked up to me and asked if there were any special deals going on. I was floored. I've been up since early morning. I was wearing glasses and my shirt was all wrinkled. My face was oily and I probably smelt bad, too. She must be blind... Should I be happy because she thought I looked good like the other A&F workers, or should I be sad that I looked brainless?

Pre-Thanksgiving Traffic

I am driving to see Pomona Boy tonight before he flies out tomorrow to see his family. We are going to see the new 007 movie. I hope it's good. The only thing is... see what I am about to get into...? Yup, a pretty colorful picture indeed!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Let's have Asian dishes instead of a turkey. What do you say? Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

:-)

Sorry for the lack of updates AGAIN. I actually went on a vacation. Can you believe it? To make up for it, here are two pictures I took at LAX. Random strangers are HOT, and there were tons of them at the airport. You gotta admit that I have mad skills of sneaky photography. I heart my iPhone. :-)

Wow

Wow, Prop H8 passed... I am very disappointed at my fellow Californians. What is it that people think they can mind other people's business. We are not hurting anyone by getting married. If you want to protect traditional marriage, you should ban divorce, you should make women stay at home all day to clean and make supper for the husbands and kids, and you should ban black people and white people from getting married. Protecting traditional marriage my ass.

Speaking of my ass, it's lacking action lately. Not that it was getting much before. No, I am not a flaming submissive bottom that shoots flames out of his ass. I did have some talks with both of my boys - KY Boy and Pomona Boy recently...

Two Fridays ago, I went to see Pomona Boy. We went bowling and had a lot of fun, even though the bowling alley was very ghetto and pretty much empty. That night we went back to his dorm room and watched some TV. Nothing sexual happened, in case you were wondering. Don't get me wrong. I do like this boy and I am attracted to him. He's very mature compared to other 20-year-olds. He's passionate about the environment and wants to help out people in need. He does not have bad habits like smoking or drinking or drugs. He's just overall a really great guy. (Although he does need to do his homework more often.) I really never imagine that I could be dating (?) a guy that still goes on field trips. It makes me feel like he's my little brother and I just tend to want to care for those that are younger than me. I am not sure if my feelings for him are more "friendly" and "brotherly", or if they are more like those between people that are dating or in a relationship. Before I can make sure, I just can't do anything sexual with this boy and potentially lead him on. I am afraid that I will hurt him. I had a talk with him a few days ago and we agreed that we should be friends for now. Feelings do develop, and who knows what will happen after we hang out more and more, but as of right now, I don't want him to expect anything so he won't get hurt.

As for KY Boy, on the other hand, I know that my feelings for him are for sure the type of feelings between people that go on dates or are in relationships. He gives me butterflies, so to speak. It sucks that he doesn't think he's ready for another relationship right now. He's told me that if he would go on a date (a serious date, not just casual like having lunch or dinner) with anyone right now, it would be me. We are both attracted to each other, physically and personality-wise. We just click really well. Blame it on the bad timing, I guess. Anyway, we had a talk recently too about us. He told me that I shouldn't limit myself to only him (which I am not), and this makes me both happy and sad. It makes me happy that he is mature and selfless, and on the other hand, it makes me sad that he doesn't seem to want me that bad. Despite this weird strange relationship between us, we are really good friends. We started off being really good friends because we were in similar situations in our relationships, and we shared our feelings and craps that happened to us. So no matter what happens, we will be good friends for life, and that's what matters to me the most right now.

So anyway, you might think I am a whore or a player. LOL. I don't know which boy I should pursue or if I should pursue at all. I don't want to keep thinking both of them as possible dates or boyfriends because that makes me feel like I am a whore. I can't focus on more than 1 person at a time, but at the same time, I feel like I should, to explore my possibilities. Why is life so hard?

Stupid Google

Sigh I just came to read my own little boring blog, and I found an ad placed by Google below (you might still be able to see it) that says "Yes on Prop 8." Either Google is too stupid to figure out which ads are appropriate, or these people that support Prop 8 are paying lots of money to outbid all the other ads. Either way, it will be scary tomorrow. I hope it does not pass. Or if you prefer, click the ad below to death and MAKE THEM PAY (HA HA HA).

There were at least 100-200 people at a major intersection on my drive home today, rallying for Yes on Prop 8. It made me want to drive up to them and turn on my windshield wipers to spray water on them, but I know that water won't wash away their stupidity. It just saddens me that as a country that claims to be the world's leader, we are so backwards and intolerant. It's truly sad!

VOTE NO ON PROP 8 TOMORROW! TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILIES!

From the Cast of Ugly Betty...

Chapter 2

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. As you may know, a lot of (you know what) happened to me lately. I was really not in the blogging mood. BUT I am surprised how quickly I am recovering from the mess. I am happy now. Really! I was able to meet a few guys online and hang out with them in person. I feel it's time to introduce some new characters to this new chapter of my life. You will probably hear me talk about them a lot in the near future.

1. KY Boy is one year older than me. All I can say is, KY here is not the lubricant brand. I met KY Boy before the breakup. He was on break with his boyfriend at that time as well. They broke up just a couple weeks before The Ex and I did. We have a lot in common. We had the same major in college and similar interests. Heck, our boyfriends (ex-boyfriends now) ever have the same first name. I call him my white twin. He's very cute and extremely mature. He's successful in his career. I don't want to sound shallow, but I like guys with financial stability. It's not because I can get expensive presents or go to nice dinners, but it just gives me an extra sense of safety if you know what I mean. KY Boy said he's not ready to date or get into another relationship right now. It's totally understandable. He admitted that he still had feelings for his ex, but at the same time he's really attracted to me as well. We will see what happens. I am not going to force him to do anything or try to talk him into going on a date with me, especially knowing that he is still not completely over his previous relationship. I will not choose to be his rebound.

2. Pomona Boy is a college sophomore. I met Pomona Boy very recently (2 weeks ago perhaps) and we hung out for the first time last Friday night. We were going to go bowling, but I was too tired, so we just talked and watched some TV at his dorm room. What I like about Pomona Boy is that he's been learning Chinese since middle or high school, so he speaks Chinese fairly well. He also knows a lot about my culture. He's passionate about the environment and current events, and does every bit to help (recycling, volunteering, etc.). He's also very cute with a nice personality. He plays violin and piano. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this on this blog, but I have a thing for guys that play piano. If a guy dresses up in a suit and plays piano for me, I... will... melt.... We might go for bowling for real this Friday. I am usually not attracted to younger guys, but he's mature for his age. We will see...

3. Photo Boy is also younger than me. I've known Photo Boy for the longest (a few months) out of these three boys, but we didn't start hanging out until recently. He is a student and is a part time photographer (hence the name). He knew about my situation (before and after the breakup), and as a good friend, he tried to cheer me up during my down times. Because of his job, he gets to go to various events in LA and Hollywood, and he would invite me to go along and meet new people. I am really grateful that he helped me out. Personality wise, he's just a great guy. I feel he's too innocent to live in LA, but he's from a small town, so I am glad that LA hasn't corrupted him yet. To be honest though, I only see Photo Boy as a friend, but I see myself being friends with him for a very long time, and that's why I decided to talk about him here. (Not that he's not cute. He is, but just not really my type).

Alright, I think that's all for now. If there's anything new, I will be sure to share. I feel like such a whore. :-)

Oh by the way, I've been listening to these two songs. They are great: Drive My Soul (EP Version)and The Last Thing On Your Mind (EP Version)

Vote NO on Prop 8!!!

Here are some YouTube videos. They are good. Send them to everyone you know or post them on your blog. Let's not let Prop 8 pass!! Vote NO on Prop 8!!!

The Ex

I don't know how I am supposed to feel. In the past few weeks, I've been extremely depressed. During the day, I put up my happy face at work and act like everything's normal. I have to. When I hang out with my friends (some of them know what's going on), I also put up my happy face. But at the end of the day, especially when I am alone, I jump into a bath trying to relax, and my tears would uncontrolably come out. I can't help but keep thinking I caused the failure of our relationship. The Ex is a really nice person but I was an idiot and did not cherish him. I was the one that pushed him away. Some friends told me that it takes two, and that it's really not one person's fault. I want to believe it. I don't know if it's really true or I just want to think it's true by believing in it.

The Ex used to be a home boy, but he has been going out, a lot, with this particular guy. This is not the same person that he went to Vegas with. They've been chatting for a couple months and started hanging out when we went on break a few weeks ago. Now they talk all the time on the phone like high school girls and hang out a few times during the week. I feel jealous, but at the same time I try and act like I don't care. I've been going to gay.com and other gay social websites trying really hard to find guys to make friends and hang out with. No, I am not looking for hook ups. I just don't want to feel lonely, and seeing The Ex going out so much doesn't help, either.

Right now I am at the point in my life where I don't know where to go and what to do next. I now officially declare that the year 2008 fucking sucks, BIG TIME!

It's Official

It's official. The Boyfriend and I broke up tonight. We tried, but it wasn't working. I've been depressed for the past couple of weeks. I drank a lot. I think I probably had more to drink in the past 2 weeks than all I've had in my life before. I also cried a lot. I feel so lonely sometimes.

I am going to ask for more projects at work tomorrow. Hopefully that will take my minds off things. I have also decided not to drink any more. I am not going to drink my sorrows away. It's not only healthy, but also just temporary. I am going to try very hard to move on.

The Boyfriend will become The Ex.

Will there ever be The Boyfriend v 2.0?

Coming Out - Part 2

Please see the post below for part 1 first.

So my friend and I decided to meet at a restaurant in Pasadena that night. It's like in the middle of us. I really appreciate that she drove all this way to have dinner with me and to talk to me. I met her outside and we hugged, more tightly than ever. As we walked into the restaurant, she said "You have to tell me EEEEEEEEEVERYTHING." At the time I still couldn't believe I had told her so I said let me have a drink first. We both ordered a mojito (yum) and then she started her interrogation, and this is how the questions progressed.

"How did you know?"

"How long have you known?"

"Did you date anyone?"

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Tell me how you met them"

"What was the sex like?"

"What did you do during sex?"

"How do you suck a dick? (My mouth always gets so sore, is that normal?)"

I am not going to type my answers to those questions here. Maybe some other time. I needed another drink after that last question. LOL. You have to understand... this is a friend that I've known since college, but we never talked about stuff like this. We hang out occasionally and talk about family, friends, and work, but that's about it. Yet there we were talking about dicks. She was very surprised that I was dating someone all this time since we met but she didn't know. She jokingly suggested that she was upset because I was getting some but she wasn't getting any. She thought I juts didn't care to date girls and was a virgin all this time. Ha ha ha.

We talked about our mutual friends and discussed who else I could tell next. I told her she's probably the only one. She said she felt very special and that she's always wanted a close gay friend. Now she wants to hook me up with "a friend of a friend" that is also gay, and she wants to go to a gay club with me. LOL She's hilarious. I am not a club type of person. I need to look up directions if I need to go to West Hollywood, but I told her we will go one day.

In summary, the night turned out very well. I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction and conversion with her. We had our heart-to-heart session that we never had before, and I am glad that now I have a hag friend that I can be completely honest to and hang out with without worrying about being caught staring at hot guys.

Have a great weekend, guys!

Coming Out

Okay... as open as I may appear to be on this blog, I am actually a very shy person. I take everything in. I don't pour my heart out to anyone. I hardly ever discuss my personal life with my friends. ALL of my non-gay friends don't know about me being gay (yes I am VERY straight-acting.). If you lay on top of me, you won't get burnt (because I am not a flaming queen like Paul is). So due to recent life-changing events, I decided to change how I act and interact socially. I will talk about what recent life changing events are later (or never ha ha!). Today, I made a huge leap forward. I told one of my closest friends (actually my only closest friend, and we really aren't that close) that I am gay... in Gmail and txt messages. Here's a screen-shot of my beautiful iPhone:

I started off by baiting her to tell me her secrets, but she didn't have any. She asked if I had any, and yes since I do have a lot of (Victoria's) secrets in my closet, I said "LOL tons". Then since she had a crappy limited text plan, we chatted online for a while. I told her I worked for the FBI but she didn't believe me. Then I just texted her "Okay. I am gay ha ha" because I didn't want to type that on my work computer. Who knows what kind of monitoring programs my company installed on it.

As I suspected, she was very surprised (see, I am really straight acting!). Half of our conversation in the next 10 minutes were OMG's. She thought I was joking again at first. She also said she did wondered why I never dated any girls but she thought maybe I just didn't care to. It never crossed her mind that I would be gay. Well, tough luck sister, life is full of shit and surprises like this. If my life were a season of 24, this would be THE cliffhanger of one of the episodes.

She then asked me a bunch of questions which I said I would answer over dinner. She cancelled her dinner plans with other people right away so she could have dinner with me tonight (LOL). I will let you guys know how that goes.

Anyway, I am just glad and happy that I told her. Right now I am still a little shocked and in disbelief though. My lunch must have been poisoned...

Test

Can you see this? Or are you blind?

Blogging from my phone here :-) oh this is fun. This blog is going mobile!!


Posted with LifeCast

I Need a Date

I need a date this Friday night. Can anyone in L.A. hook me up? He he I am normal and don't eat humans. That should be assuring enough, right? Dinner and then a drink at the Abbey in West Hollywood perhaps? Omg how strange can I be to look for a date on my blog? :-)

Grey's Anatomy - Last Kiss

I watched this episode from season 4 of Grey's Anatomy last night. It was so sad... It made me cry. :(

TGIW!

Thank god it's weekend! I am loving my new iPhone so far. One of the Apps that I have called WhosHere allows me to see who around me (geographically) also has this App, and I can also filter by interests (men seeking men, women seeking men, etc.). You can see what they are looking for, their picture, and approximately how many miles they are away from you. It is interesting that nobody sent me a message at first when I didn't put up any profile picture. As a social experiment (I promise!), I put up a headless shirtless picture recently, and now I get messages much more often. What can I say? Men are pigs...

Lately I've been having trouble sleeping through the whole night.... like... RIGHT NOW! I woke up half an hour ago (5:15 AM) on a freaking Saturday morning when I should be sleeping in. I somehow got a drug called Ambien on the street (ha ha) and took it once a couple weeks ago. Boy it was really fun. I woke up about an hour after I went to bed, and I hallucinated. I could see unidentified objects flying in the air and the window was glowing, sort of like an X-Files episode. The ceiling fan looked like a huge spider. The funny thing is, I KNEW I was hallucinating. I knew the objects flying in the air shouldn't have been there. I knew it spider-looking object was really the ceiling fan. But for some reason, that's just how they looked at that time. The Boyfriend told me I was just dreaming so I went to bed. The next day, I just had to find out what's wrong, and I Googled "Ambien hallucination", and surely I saw a bunch of sites talking about hallicination being a side effect of Ambien that happens rarely. Oh wow I feel so special to be one of the people that this rarely happens to. Needless to say, I stopped taking it. Then a friend recommended Tylenol Simply Sleep, which is non addictive. I think it's working. I just didn't want to take it last night because I was out drinking and didn't want to mix any medicine with alcohol. And now here I am typing this at 5-something in the morning. :-(

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!!

Oh Yea

Last night I went to Glen Ivy to get a massage. It was my first time I tried a stronger massage (for guys) instead of a regular Swedish massage. My masseur turned out to be this hot young guy in his 20's. I am not kidding. He looked just like an Abercrombie model walking out of a poster. He was SOOOOOOOO HOT. Blond, nice facial features, mid-length sandy hair, and most importantly, strong arms. He was a little rough, but we all know rough is the way I like to take it. During the massage, I asked if he did any in-calls or out-calls, and he said he did do out-calls, but not in the area where I live because he doesn't live around here. I told him that's a pity. Oh well... He sort of looked like this:

On my way out of the parking lot, I saw him walking toward it and was only wearing a tanktop, showing off his nice strong manly arms.... (drooling).

Catching Up

Last weekend, I saw two cute boys holding hands in public in Irvine Spectrum. They were about 18 to 20 years old. Thumbs up to them. I still don't feel comfortable enough to do this. I care about what people think too much.

Recently I gave in to the big and scary two-headed monster called Apple & AT&T and got myself an iPhone with a 2-year contract. What can I say? I held off for as long as I could, but I just couldn't resist it any more. It looks so pretty... I know I am shallow. But once I had a chance to play with it for a few days, I just absolutely love it. I also signed up for unlimited text service. You must know that 3 months ago I had no text plan on my phone, and I NEVER texted. Now my friends call me a text whore. It's a slippery slope once you get started. Don't let your kids try this!!!!!

The concept of having other people develop applications for the phone is just great. There are some very cool applications. Loopt lets you find your friends and tell you where they are any moment (kind of scary, but you can hide or set your own location). Whoshere lets you set up your profile and search criteria, and will show you people (some with pictures) that meet your criteria. And then there are apps for eBay and Facebook, and many other games. I just absolutely love it. I can't wait what Google comes up with for their Android later this year and see if it will be enough to compete with iPhone.

Can anyone recommend any cool apps?

Oh by the way, this guy's name is Kerry Degman. He's super hot!

Innocent

Simple and innocent. Just boys being boys...

More Financial Troubles

I guess these financial problems aren't ending any time soon. Rumor has it that the government will take over Fannie and Freddie as soon as this weekend, which can cost taxpayers billions of dollars. Both companies account for half of this nation's mortgage debt. I FUCKING HATE it when these millionnaire CEOs just stood aside and let their companies give out bad loans so they could make a lot of money, and when their companies fail, we taxpayers are the ones that need to foot their bills. It's SO FUCKING UNFAIR! I claim 2 deductions (although I really should just claim 1), and I get 15% off my paychecks deducted for just the federal tax, not including state tax and social security (which I probably won't see a penny of when I turn 65). FIFTEEN FUCKING PERCENT! Now part of that money is going to be used to help those rich executives who do businesses unfairly and those STUPID home buyers whose eyes are bigger than their bank accounts. Sigh... sorry that I am ranting on a Friday night. I probably really should just go out and get drunk.

Source

Labor Day Weekend

How was everyone's Labor Day weekend? I went to the Abercrombie & Fitch in South Coast Plaza, and guess what, their half naked greeter was an ASIAN! I couldn't believe it! We are talking about Abercrombie & Fitch here, which is famous for being white supremacists. Well, I am glad they made a big step forward. (They sorta had to do it anyway since a good portion of population in Orange County is Asian.)

I also went shopping for cologne this weekend but couldn't make up my damn mind about which one to get. I like Black by Kenneth Cole, but that's been out for a while now so I don't know if people are going to think that I am out-dated. Black: Black is masculine and modern, as timeless as the color itself. An energetic mix of mint, lotus flower, exotic woods and sensuous musk that is metropolitan and masculine.

I went to Bloomingdale's and smelled Gucci: men's 'gucci by gucci' pour homme woody chypre fragrance. top notes of bergamot, cypress and violet. heart notes of tobacco leaves and jasmine. base notes of patchouli, amber and incense. To me, this one smells more "mature" which might be good for me because I am getting older :(

Light blue: A refreshing blend of citrus notes combine perfectly with masculine woods and subtle spice to create a distinctive fragrance that epitomizes relaxed sophistication.

Does any of you wear any of these? Let me know which one you think is best for a professional youthful 20-something trendy cool Asian boy, ok?

Happy Labor Day

A simple Google search gives you... real men, real labor. Happy Labor Day!!!

How Did They Do That?

I've always been amazed by the pyramids and the Great Wall of China. I want to see them in person one day. How did they build these structures with the technology they had (or not), without the help from aliens?


Michael Phelps is just simply amazing. Eight freaking gold medals.... I wish I could have him teach me how to swim. I am sure he won't need my money as he already has a 7-figure income from Speedos and other sponsors, so I can just pay him in another way... LOL.

I also want to know how they did this... Umm... Somebody teach me!