How Did They Do That?

I've always been amazed by the pyramids and the Great Wall of China. I want to see them in person one day. How did they build these structures with the technology they had (or not), without the help from aliens?

Michael Phelps is just simply amazing. Eight freaking gold medals.... I wish I could have him teach me how to swim. I am sure he won't need my money as he already has a 7-figure income from Speedos and other sponsors, so I can just pay him in another way... LOL.

I also want to know how they did this... Umm... Somebody teach me!


Congrats to Matthew Mitcham

Congratulations to Matthew Mitcham, an openly gay diver, for winning gold in the 10m platform in the Beijing Olympics. Article here (from last night).

Diver Matthew Mitcham, the only openly gay male athlete in the Beijing Olympics, won gold in the 10m platform. He beat Chinese favorite Zhou Luxin by 4.8 points, preventing China from sweeping gold in diving events. Mitcham is the first Aussie to win diving gold since 1924, but that's not the only thing that makes him a trailblazer.

He is hardly the first gay athlete to compete but he is one of the first to be out while competing. American diver Greg Louganis did not share his orientation until his diving career was over. To Mitcham, he is just living his life as a gay man and as a diver, and there is nothing extraordinary about that:

“Being gay and diving are completely separate parts of my life. Of course there’s going to be crossover because some people have issues, but everyone I dive with has been so supportive."

Though he wants to be known as more than a gay man, the LGBT community is proud of their star. At OutSports, a sports Web site that focuses on the gay community, his win is front-page news. The Web site brings up a good question -- will NBC mention Mitcham's orientation during tonight's broadcast?

To Mitcham, that doesn't seem to matter. He has gold, and has reached his goals: "I’m happy with myself and where I am. I’m very happy with who I am and what I’ve done.”

UPDATE: NBC did not mention Mitcham's orientation, nor did they show his family and partner who were in the stands. NBC has made athletes' significant others a part of the coverage in the past, choosing to spotlight track athlete Sanya Richards' fiancee, a love triangle between French and Italian swimmers and Kerri Walsh's wedding ring debacle.

Here's a brief interview of him after winning the gold. His mom and boyfriend were by his side:

Sunday Brunch - Chase Crawford

You all know who he is, so I won't write up anything (just an excuse for my laziness). These pictures have been circulating on the Internet for a long time, so you've probably seen them all already. However you gotta admit he's so hot that you just need to see these pictures again! Here they are:

A bonus dessert for today's brunch. Cherry pie, anyone?


Oh Boy

I need to trim my pubes... unless Afro is still in style?

My birthday is next week. I am getting so old.... I've decided to pick the Toys R Us song to be my theme song next week. "I don't wanna grow up..." This commercial also features creepily large toys. It's so scary! I would never step a foot into Toys R Us if I saw this commercial when I was a boy.

The Boyfriend and I are fine. We want to work things out. Sorry for all the drama last week.


Days of Our Lives - Episode 4

So... about the call that woke me up at 2:30 AM last night and kept me awake...

As I said in my previous post, he called at 12:30 to tell me that he's about to get off the freeway in Vegas. Two hours later, he called again. He said he was sitting in the room thinking about me, and he wanted to do option 1 now and was wondering if I would still give it a shot. Right then, he said he would promise me that nothing would happen between him and the doctor. When I asked what kind of room they were staying in, he said it's a king-size bed room. I don't know why he didn't switch to two queen beds.

I've been thinking about this all day and just got off the phone with him again. He said he wants to try to work it out, and even if it doesn't work in the end, we would both know that we tried. I don't know what to do. He said the check-in took 30 minutes, so between 1 AM and 2:30 AM when he called, they might very well have done something. He promised that nothing happened and promised that nothing will happen. I think I can trust him on this one. I really want to.

But, just because that nothing happened and he promised that nothing will happen, it still doesn't mean that he didn't plan to make something happen. It could be possible that the doctor didn't want to do anything. It just seems to me that he chose option 2 already but maybe it didn't work, so he wants option 1 now. Again, it makes me feel like I am the backup plan.

If he wanted to work it out before, he would have chosen to do so instead of leaving for Vegas, especially after I told that it would be over if he left. He chose to leave anyway. I don't know why going to Vegas with another guy, spent 4 hours driving in the car and the night in the same bed would make him suddently realize that he wanted option 1 after all. Obviously option 1 wasn't his first choice, or else he wouldn't have left last night. I am puzzled, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's really he talking or his guilt. I also don't know if he's just not used to not having me around and is confused himself, but maybe if he's away long enough, he would get over it and choose to break up anyway.

My feelings tell me that I should give it another chance, but my head tells me that I should think twice about this. I really want it to work, but I don't want to go on doubting whether I am indeed the backup plan, the second best thing, and that he would just leave again if he finds someone better. I don't want to invest more time in this relationship feeling like this. What should I do? What would you do? Please tell me...

Days of Our Lives - Episode 3

Read Episodes 1 and 2 first below!

The papers I held in my hand said that the hotel room is for a room with 1 king-size bed, and the ticket confirmation is for 2 NON-REFUNDABLE tickets. I can hear my heart shattered into a million pieces right now. I don't understand why this happened. I called him right away and confronted him.

"Hey, who are you going to Vegas with?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Who are you going to Vegas with?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Then I admitted that I turned into a psycho bitch and apologized that I went through his things. I really didn't want to do it, but I had to make sure. I was just as surprised as he was that I went through his things. He then confessed and said that he should have told me. He said he WANTED to tell me but didn't have the courage to.

I was very disappointed and upset at this point. Not only did he plan this trip with someone els and decide not to tell me, but he also lied about it when I asked. I really don't know how we could have gotten to this point. Gee, doesn't this sound just like Option 2? When did he choose to pick it? How come I never knew?

I asked him, again, who he planned to go with. He said he asked a mutual friend of ours first on Thursday, but the mutual friend wasn't sure if he could go. I asked who else. He said "who do you think?" I knew it's the doctor. He said the doctor also wasn't sure if he could go.

I questioned many of his intentions... Why tell me that he was only going away for the weekend to think but at the same time plan to ask someone else to go along? Why not ask me if that's okay with me? Why lie to me when I asked if he's going alone? Why book a king-size bed if he knew he's going with "a friend?"

I asked him if he was expecting anything to happen to him and the doctor, if he did go. He said he didn't know. I asked him to promise me that nothing would happen. He said he didn't know if nothing would happen, and couldn't make that promise because he didn't want to break it. I asked why he even questioned himself if he might break it. Shouldn't he be able to just tell me right off the bat that nothing would happen? He shouldn't have to promise me anything, and yet he chose not to give me any last assurance. I said he just WANTED something to happen, but wasn't sure if it would, and that's why he couldn't make that promise.

I bit the bullet and said to him that if he walked out that door Friday night, it will be over. I am sorry that I had to make him make a decision, but I can't allow myself to be treated this way. I can't remain in a relationship with him while he goes away to Vegas with some guy (that he most likely has interests in) and spends two nights in a king-size bed together. How can he expect me to consent that? He said he just wanted to talk to the doctor friend and figured things out between us. But it sounds a lot like he's trying to "try out" the doctor friend, and if it doesn't work out with him, he wants to be able to come back to me. I feel like a backup plan. He denies it, of course. He said again and again that he just wanted to go away and think, and I had to question him again and again that why he had to go away 400 miles with another guy, spend 2 nights in the same bed together, and on top of it all, plan to not have me find out, JUST TO THINK!!!!! If he didn't plan anything else, why would he go through all that?

He asked me to leave work and go to lunch with him. I did. We talked during lunch, but the conversation didn't go anywhere. It basically just went in a circle. He was sorry he lied. He wanted to go away. I questioned his intention. I asked him to not go, or go without the doctor, or at the very least promise that nothing would happen. He couldn't do any of the above. He wanted me to wait after this weekend for him to make a decision. I said I couldn't be treated that way and told him that it's over if he left. It went around and around several times.

I went back to work after lunch. I was slowly preparing myself to accept the fact that my 6-year relationship would be over in a matter of hours. I left work a little early because he wanted to talk some more. At this point I didn't know if more talking would do any good. I came home. He said he still wanted to go and didn't want to have to end it with me if he left. I expressed to him AGAIN, after so many times, that I didn't want to be treated that way and could not bear the thought of him doing anything with another guy this weekend, since he couldn't even promise that nothing would happen. If he still cared about me and loved me as he claimed he did, why put me through this torture? I said one more time that if he walked out the door that night, it would be over. I was very firm about it. There should be no confusion. He knew very well that he would be ending things if he left. It's his decision to make whether he liked it or not. I was sorry that I had to make him choose so soon, but he violated my trust and picked Option 2 without me knowing already. I didn't have time to let him keep toying with my emotions like this. If he wanted to go be with someone else, don't make me wait at home for his decision. Just rip the fucking band-aid off quickly so it doesn't hurt as much. Stop giving me hope or making me go through this weekend wondering what he's doing and feeling helpless.

He did walk out Friday night, not without hesitation, but he did. I knew what would happen if he did, and he chose to do it anyway. Since Wednesday, I said to him many times that I wanted to work with him to solve any problems. He chose not to do it with me and just walk out. Six years of good memories. That's almost A QUARTER OF MY LIFE (so far)!!!

I was bummed out on Friday night, but I tried. I was able to sleep though because I went through so much this week and finally had a closure on things. I did tell him to call me when he got to Vegas so I knew he's safe. I really didn't know why I bothered. He did call me at around 12:30 AM when he was getting off the freeway. I went back to sleep after talking to him for a minute. And then at around 2:30 AM, he called again... and that's what kept me awake to type up all 3 episodes just now. What he said on the call.... I don't know how to react. My heart is telling me one thing, but my logical brain is telling me the opposite. I will write about the call later while some of you have some time to read through all 3 posts. Sorry that it's another cliffhanger, but I am tired and need to sleep now.

Days of Our Lives - Episode 2

Instead of waiting for another day, you don't have to wait to see Episode 2 of this whole drama.

Some more background. In a post I wrote a few months ago, I mentioned that The Boyfriend had been chatting with other guys online. He's mentioned a few times that he wanted us to go hang out with this doctor friend he met online. I wanted to do it with him but every time he asked, either him, me, or the doctor had something that prevented us from getting together. Last weekend, I had to go down to Orange County. The Boyfriend called me Friday night and asked if it was okay for him to hang out with the doctor on Saturday. I completely trust him, so of course I said yes. They had lunch that day and went to see Wall-E, a movie I wanted to see when it came out, but The Boyfriend didn't want to see it. Afterwards, he told me that the doctor's a nice guy and we should all hang out together soon. I said~ sure!

Thursday came along. I woke up so very tired. I dragged myself to work but couldn't function well. I was so distracted. We chatted online and talked a few times throughout the day. He said he wanted to get away for the weekend and picked Vegas. I was all for it. I even tried to find him good deals on a hotel room. He also bought a ticket to see a show. I did smell something fishy and asked if he was going alone. He said yes immediately.

Then I came home from work. We talked some more. Although it was awkward at this point, I hugged and kissed him more. He made dinner (and burned it). We sat down and watched tv while eating. We talked to each other about other things like nothing had happened.
Everything seemed fine and back to normal now.

Friday morning, he had to leave early. I really hate myself for doing this, and never expected me to do this. I turned into a psycho bitch and went to his room to find his hotel room reservation confirmation. It wasn't hard to find it. When I did, I took a look, and I literally got chills in my head, down to my chest, arms, back, and stomach. I was speechless.

I am going to type Episode 3 immediately after this. Hey was that a cliffhanger? I think I am getting good at writing soap operas.

Days of Our Lives - Episode 1

This is like an episode of soap opera, so I titled the post as Days of Our Lives. I am debating whether to write about this because it's so personal. I feel so naked in front of the world to pour my thoughts out like this. It's 3:15 AM when I start writing this, but I couldn't sleep, and I really want to know what people think about the whole situation. Here it is...

Two nights ago, I came home from work as usual. I went into my room to check emails and surf as usual. The Boyfriend came to my room and asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told him instead of getting whatever I tell him I want, I would prefer that he spends time to think about what I would like. Even if it turned out to be something not at the top of my list, at least I will know that he tried and put lots of thoughts into it. He went downstairs to make dinner. We ate. I did the dishes. Just as I was walking upstairs, he asked me to come back down and sit with him in the living room. Straight off the bat, he asked me if I was happy with our relationship. I said I was. He said he hasn't been, for a long time. It came as a big shock to me. He said he's been putting up a happy face in front of me so I wouldn't worry, and at the same time trying to say things and get me to do things with him in order to fix the problems. I told him it was very surprising to me. He said it was surprising to him that it was surprising to me.

I completely did not see this coming. Some background... Throughout the past 6 years, I have to admit that I haven't treated him like a boyfriend. Sometimes I say mean and hurtful things. If you read some of the posts, you would know that I have a quick mouth and don't do too much thinking before I say things. I also haven't put in enough efforts to make him happy. A lot of the times, I just took and took and that forced him to give and give. Basically, he said he hasn't felt loved for a long time. His feelings for me gradually faded. However, just like he said, he tried to put up a happy face and acted like nothing was wrong. No wonder it was a big surprise to me when he finally sat me down and talked to me seriously about it. Even on Wednesday night when he came into my room to ask what I wanted for my birthday, that question was accompanied by a brief bj from him. I mean... how was I supposed to know that anything was wrong? As far as I know, he was still into me that night. If I had known earlier, I would have tried harder, cared more about his feelings, and paid more attention to him.

That night, we discussed our options. Option 1: (I suggested this.) I said I wanted to change and treat him the way he wants to be treated. It's not about changing who I am. It's about paying more attention to how he feels and be more considerate. Honestly this is not a lot to ask of me. I am willing to try! Option 2: (He suggested this, and I have a feeling that this was what he would eventually pick.) He wants to take a 3~4 month break. During this break, he said he may be seeing other guys, and whatever he does, it will be "safe." He was referring to sex if it's not obvious enough. He is not saying he definitely will see other guys, but he just can't say for sure that he won't. He also said that at this time, he would prefer that I wait and not see other guys. He knew it's not fair to ask me that but that's his preference. I responded that it is not going to happen like that, and in my head I was yelling a big SCREW YOU. He cannot possibly expect me to be the normal obedient wife that waits for the husband to come home every night after he fools around with other people. At this time, he said fine, I could do the same, too. (See how much he wanted Option 2?)

So our conversation basically ended here that night. We decided that we would spend a few days thinking about these options. I didn't understand why he couldn't pick option 1 immediately and work with me. It makes me feel he was leaning towards option 2 and already picked it prior to our conversion. I couldn't sleep that night. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to my room and stayed for a couple hours. I am putting Episode 2 into another post...


It's Over

I am so confused right now. I don't know what to do. I need a rebound guy. If you know any quality individuals in the Los Angeles area, let me know. Maybe pretty soon there will be posts about The Boyfriend V 2.0.

I will try to write something this weekend and tell you guys what happened.



I am heartbroken... I cannot believe what just happened. I need to vent.


The Olympics

I am sure a lot of you saw the Men's 10-Meter Synchronized Diving yesterday. The two men representing the USA are so adorable. I just have to find more pictures of them and post them here.

Thomas Finchum (born December 01, 1989):

David Boudia (Born April 24, 1989):

These two boys not only compete against each other, but they also compete together as a team against other hot boys from other countries. They are good friends with each other, and during the interview, they even said they could finish each other's sentences sometimes. How adorable is that!!! Look how cute they look together.

What's even better about them is that Thomas is 18 and David is 19, so they are both legal. LOL. I am only kidding!!


Happy Sunday

Good morning! First I'd like to apologize to my three readers that I haven't updated this blog for so long. I was busy and lazy. I haven't had time read any blogs, either. Work is the same for me... just too much work to do and too little time to do it. Our company recently hired a masseuse to come over every other week to give us massages. To me, that's a great perk. The massage I had last week was excellent and much needed. I just wish it was a guy and longer (the massage session, not a particular human reproductive organ). Anyone who wants to apply to be an intern, see qualifications here.

So I hurt my big toe a week ago. The Boyfriend was trying to "get me" and was chasing me in the house. I ran into the door. My toe began swelling right away and I could not walk. I thought I might have broken it. That night I had to hop around the house. Of course, being mentally 5 years old, The Boyfriend started making fun of me and called me a kangaroo. A couple hours later, he hurt his toe, too, while getting out of shower. What can I say? Karma is a bitch!

I went to see a doctor the next day and got an X-ray. Good news, it wasn't broken. The doctor told me to go see Dr. Advil and a few days later, the inflammation was gone. Magical Dr. Advil! I think I am addicted to him now. Now I can karate kick The Boyfriend with no problem.

Yesterday The Boyfriend and I went to Walmart to get a few things. He got a canned air, and I guess there is a requirement that you would have to be 18 to buy it? I am not sure... Anyway, the cashier (an old woman in her 60's) asked him how old he was. Since he likes to flirt with grandmas, he didn't answer and instead asked her how old she thought he was. (By the way, he's in late 20's.) The grandma said "uh... I don't know... you look young... maybe 17?"

I immediately pointed to the eye clinic/glasses department, which was next to us, and said to her, word by word, "I think you need to have your eyes checked over there." It sounded funny at first but then I realized it might have been a little rude. She gave me this weird look when I said it. I am sorry, but I am just an obnoxious Asian who only became obnoxious after hanging out with too many Gringos. They rubbed off on me. I couldn't help it!!

You had no idea how big The Boyfriend's head (the upper division of the human body that contains the brain, chief sense organs, and the mouth, NOT the tip of a certain human reproductive organ) was that afternoon. I had to keep reminding him that just because an old woman with blurred vision thought he looked 17, it doesn't mean the rest of the world thinks so, too.