So... about the call that woke me up at 2:30 AM last night and kept me awake...
As I said in my previous post, he called at 12:30 to tell me that he's about to get off the freeway in Vegas. Two hours later, he called again. He said he was sitting in the room thinking about me, and he wanted to do option 1 now and was wondering if I would still give it a shot. Right then, he said he would promise me that nothing would happen between him and the doctor. When I asked what kind of room they were staying in, he said it's a king-size bed room. I don't know why he didn't switch to two queen beds.
I've been thinking about this all day and just got off the phone with him again. He said he wants to try to work it out, and even if it doesn't work in the end, we would both know that we tried. I don't know what to do. He said the check-in took 30 minutes, so between 1 AM and 2:30 AM when he called, they might very well have done something. He promised that nothing happened and promised that nothing will happen. I think I can trust him on this one. I really want to.
But, just because that nothing happened and he promised that nothing will happen, it still doesn't mean that he didn't plan to make something happen. It could be possible that the doctor didn't want to do anything. It just seems to me that he chose option 2 already but maybe it didn't work, so he wants option 1 now. Again, it makes me feel like I am the backup plan.
If he wanted to work it out before, he would have chosen to do so instead of leaving for Vegas, especially after I told that it would be over if he left. He chose to leave anyway. I don't know why going to Vegas with another guy, spent 4 hours driving in the car and the night in the same bed would make him suddently realize that he wanted option 1 after all. Obviously option 1 wasn't his first choice, or else he wouldn't have left last night. I am puzzled, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's really he talking or his guilt. I also don't know if he's just not used to not having me around and is confused himself, but maybe if he's away long enough, he would get over it and choose to break up anyway.
My feelings tell me that I should give it another chance, but my head tells me that I should think twice about this. I really want it to work, but I don't want to go on doubting whether I am indeed the backup plan, the second best thing, and that he would just leave again if he finds someone better. I don't want to invest more time in this relationship feeling like this. What should I do? What would you do? Please tell me...
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8 comments:
Sounds like you're the one going to Vegas instead. It is a gamble and I think your sentiments are right.
Maybe the relationship is a bit too long and stale and your bf feels the need to go out and explore. You're both still very young and it is hard to stay in the same relationship for the rest of your lives and not be tempted to try someone else.
Is an open relationship an option? I think whether they had sex or not it is quite secondary, the important thing if you can let it go if they did. Is fidelity that important? And you're right, there's nothing preventing this to happen all over again somewhere down the line, I'm afraid things can never be the same and it might take a long while for you guys to rebuild your trust.
Good luck and whatever you decide will be ok.
Hey, sorry to hear about your relationship. I understand how you felt. I have some relationship problem with my bf last year, and we are trying to work it out.
Is your bf asian as well?
yvespaul: Neither of us would like an open relationship. Neither of us can bear the thoughts of the other having sex with other people. And yes, fidelity is important.
jy: No he's white.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this crap...I'm not going to give you any advice on what you should do, cuz I'm a true Psycho Bitch...I would've destroyed that man's entire wardrobe 5 minutes after he walked out the door.
Good luck buddy...I hope whatever decision you make works out for you!
[::Big 'ol Bear Hug::]
life is full of surprises. I could almost feel how you feel when you were holding that tickets. 6 years is a long time and breaking it off is hard for many reasons. As you said it is like discontinuing part of your own life experience and move on with that portion broken.
let us know what happened and whatever happens, people always move on, and things always will settle down. That being said I wish you the best.
Such a difficult choice to make. Depends on how much you're willing to risk. If you're a gambler, then I think you should go find him and see what happens after.
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