Days of Our Lives - Episode 3

Read Episodes 1 and 2 first below!

The papers I held in my hand said that the hotel room is for a room with 1 king-size bed, and the ticket confirmation is for 2 NON-REFUNDABLE tickets. I can hear my heart shattered into a million pieces right now. I don't understand why this happened. I called him right away and confronted him.

"Hey, who are you going to Vegas with?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Who are you going to Vegas with?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Then I admitted that I turned into a psycho bitch and apologized that I went through his things. I really didn't want to do it, but I had to make sure. I was just as surprised as he was that I went through his things. He then confessed and said that he should have told me. He said he WANTED to tell me but didn't have the courage to.

I was very disappointed and upset at this point. Not only did he plan this trip with someone els and decide not to tell me, but he also lied about it when I asked. I really don't know how we could have gotten to this point. Gee, doesn't this sound just like Option 2? When did he choose to pick it? How come I never knew?

I asked him, again, who he planned to go with. He said he asked a mutual friend of ours first on Thursday, but the mutual friend wasn't sure if he could go. I asked who else. He said "who do you think?" I knew it's the doctor. He said the doctor also wasn't sure if he could go.

I questioned many of his intentions... Why tell me that he was only going away for the weekend to think but at the same time plan to ask someone else to go along? Why not ask me if that's okay with me? Why lie to me when I asked if he's going alone? Why book a king-size bed if he knew he's going with "a friend?"

I asked him if he was expecting anything to happen to him and the doctor, if he did go. He said he didn't know. I asked him to promise me that nothing would happen. He said he didn't know if nothing would happen, and couldn't make that promise because he didn't want to break it. I asked why he even questioned himself if he might break it. Shouldn't he be able to just tell me right off the bat that nothing would happen? He shouldn't have to promise me anything, and yet he chose not to give me any last assurance. I said he just WANTED something to happen, but wasn't sure if it would, and that's why he couldn't make that promise.

I bit the bullet and said to him that if he walked out that door Friday night, it will be over. I am sorry that I had to make him make a decision, but I can't allow myself to be treated this way. I can't remain in a relationship with him while he goes away to Vegas with some guy (that he most likely has interests in) and spends two nights in a king-size bed together. How can he expect me to consent that? He said he just wanted to talk to the doctor friend and figured things out between us. But it sounds a lot like he's trying to "try out" the doctor friend, and if it doesn't work out with him, he wants to be able to come back to me. I feel like a backup plan. He denies it, of course. He said again and again that he just wanted to go away and think, and I had to question him again and again that why he had to go away 400 miles with another guy, spend 2 nights in the same bed together, and on top of it all, plan to not have me find out, JUST TO THINK!!!!! If he didn't plan anything else, why would he go through all that?

He asked me to leave work and go to lunch with him. I did. We talked during lunch, but the conversation didn't go anywhere. It basically just went in a circle. He was sorry he lied. He wanted to go away. I questioned his intention. I asked him to not go, or go without the doctor, or at the very least promise that nothing would happen. He couldn't do any of the above. He wanted me to wait after this weekend for him to make a decision. I said I couldn't be treated that way and told him that it's over if he left. It went around and around several times.

I went back to work after lunch. I was slowly preparing myself to accept the fact that my 6-year relationship would be over in a matter of hours. I left work a little early because he wanted to talk some more. At this point I didn't know if more talking would do any good. I came home. He said he still wanted to go and didn't want to have to end it with me if he left. I expressed to him AGAIN, after so many times, that I didn't want to be treated that way and could not bear the thought of him doing anything with another guy this weekend, since he couldn't even promise that nothing would happen. If he still cared about me and loved me as he claimed he did, why put me through this torture? I said one more time that if he walked out the door that night, it would be over. I was very firm about it. There should be no confusion. He knew very well that he would be ending things if he left. It's his decision to make whether he liked it or not. I was sorry that I had to make him choose so soon, but he violated my trust and picked Option 2 without me knowing already. I didn't have time to let him keep toying with my emotions like this. If he wanted to go be with someone else, don't make me wait at home for his decision. Just rip the fucking band-aid off quickly so it doesn't hurt as much. Stop giving me hope or making me go through this weekend wondering what he's doing and feeling helpless.

He did walk out Friday night, not without hesitation, but he did. I knew what would happen if he did, and he chose to do it anyway. Since Wednesday, I said to him many times that I wanted to work with him to solve any problems. He chose not to do it with me and just walk out. Six years of good memories. That's almost A QUARTER OF MY LIFE (so far)!!!

I was bummed out on Friday night, but I tried. I was able to sleep though because I went through so much this week and finally had a closure on things. I did tell him to call me when he got to Vegas so I knew he's safe. I really didn't know why I bothered. He did call me at around 12:30 AM when he was getting off the freeway. I went back to sleep after talking to him for a minute. And then at around 2:30 AM, he called again... and that's what kept me awake to type up all 3 episodes just now. What he said on the call.... I don't know how to react. My heart is telling me one thing, but my logical brain is telling me the opposite. I will write about the call later while some of you have some time to read through all 3 posts. Sorry that it's another cliffhanger, but I am tired and need to sleep now.