Wow

Wow, Prop H8 passed... I am very disappointed at my fellow Californians. What is it that people think they can mind other people's business. We are not hurting anyone by getting married. If you want to protect traditional marriage, you should ban divorce, you should make women stay at home all day to clean and make supper for the husbands and kids, and you should ban black people and white people from getting married. Protecting traditional marriage my ass.

Speaking of my ass, it's lacking action lately. Not that it was getting much before. No, I am not a flaming submissive bottom that shoots flames out of his ass. I did have some talks with both of my boys - KY Boy and Pomona Boy recently...

Two Fridays ago, I went to see Pomona Boy. We went bowling and had a lot of fun, even though the bowling alley was very ghetto and pretty much empty. That night we went back to his dorm room and watched some TV. Nothing sexual happened, in case you were wondering. Don't get me wrong. I do like this boy and I am attracted to him. He's very mature compared to other 20-year-olds. He's passionate about the environment and wants to help out people in need. He does not have bad habits like smoking or drinking or drugs. He's just overall a really great guy. (Although he does need to do his homework more often.) I really never imagine that I could be dating (?) a guy that still goes on field trips. It makes me feel like he's my little brother and I just tend to want to care for those that are younger than me. I am not sure if my feelings for him are more "friendly" and "brotherly", or if they are more like those between people that are dating or in a relationship. Before I can make sure, I just can't do anything sexual with this boy and potentially lead him on. I am afraid that I will hurt him. I had a talk with him a few days ago and we agreed that we should be friends for now. Feelings do develop, and who knows what will happen after we hang out more and more, but as of right now, I don't want him to expect anything so he won't get hurt.

As for KY Boy, on the other hand, I know that my feelings for him are for sure the type of feelings between people that go on dates or are in relationships. He gives me butterflies, so to speak. It sucks that he doesn't think he's ready for another relationship right now. He's told me that if he would go on a date (a serious date, not just casual like having lunch or dinner) with anyone right now, it would be me. We are both attracted to each other, physically and personality-wise. We just click really well. Blame it on the bad timing, I guess. Anyway, we had a talk recently too about us. He told me that I shouldn't limit myself to only him (which I am not), and this makes me both happy and sad. It makes me happy that he is mature and selfless, and on the other hand, it makes me sad that he doesn't seem to want me that bad. Despite this weird strange relationship between us, we are really good friends. We started off being really good friends because we were in similar situations in our relationships, and we shared our feelings and craps that happened to us. So no matter what happens, we will be good friends for life, and that's what matters to me the most right now.

So anyway, you might think I am a whore or a player. LOL. I don't know which boy I should pursue or if I should pursue at all. I don't want to keep thinking both of them as possible dates or boyfriends because that makes me feel like I am a whore. I can't focus on more than 1 person at a time, but at the same time, I feel like I should, to explore my possibilities. Why is life so hard?

Chapter 2

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. As you may know, a lot of (you know what) happened to me lately. I was really not in the blogging mood. BUT I am surprised how quickly I am recovering from the mess. I am happy now. Really! I was able to meet a few guys online and hang out with them in person. I feel it's time to introduce some new characters to this new chapter of my life. You will probably hear me talk about them a lot in the near future.

1. KY Boy is one year older than me. All I can say is, KY here is not the lubricant brand. I met KY Boy before the breakup. He was on break with his boyfriend at that time as well. They broke up just a couple weeks before The Ex and I did. We have a lot in common. We had the same major in college and similar interests. Heck, our boyfriends (ex-boyfriends now) ever have the same first name. I call him my white twin. He's very cute and extremely mature. He's successful in his career. I don't want to sound shallow, but I like guys with financial stability. It's not because I can get expensive presents or go to nice dinners, but it just gives me an extra sense of safety if you know what I mean. KY Boy said he's not ready to date or get into another relationship right now. It's totally understandable. He admitted that he still had feelings for his ex, but at the same time he's really attracted to me as well. We will see what happens. I am not going to force him to do anything or try to talk him into going on a date with me, especially knowing that he is still not completely over his previous relationship. I will not choose to be his rebound.

2. Pomona Boy is a college sophomore. I met Pomona Boy very recently (2 weeks ago perhaps) and we hung out for the first time last Friday night. We were going to go bowling, but I was too tired, so we just talked and watched some TV at his dorm room. What I like about Pomona Boy is that he's been learning Chinese since middle or high school, so he speaks Chinese fairly well. He also knows a lot about my culture. He's passionate about the environment and current events, and does every bit to help (recycling, volunteering, etc.). He's also very cute with a nice personality. He plays violin and piano. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this on this blog, but I have a thing for guys that play piano. If a guy dresses up in a suit and plays piano for me, I... will... melt.... We might go for bowling for real this Friday. I am usually not attracted to younger guys, but he's mature for his age. We will see...

3. Photo Boy is also younger than me. I've known Photo Boy for the longest (a few months) out of these three boys, but we didn't start hanging out until recently. He is a student and is a part time photographer (hence the name). He knew about my situation (before and after the breakup), and as a good friend, he tried to cheer me up during my down times. Because of his job, he gets to go to various events in LA and Hollywood, and he would invite me to go along and meet new people. I am really grateful that he helped me out. Personality wise, he's just a great guy. I feel he's too innocent to live in LA, but he's from a small town, so I am glad that LA hasn't corrupted him yet. To be honest though, I only see Photo Boy as a friend, but I see myself being friends with him for a very long time, and that's why I decided to talk about him here. (Not that he's not cute. He is, but just not really my type).

Alright, I think that's all for now. If there's anything new, I will be sure to share. I feel like such a whore. :-)

Oh by the way, I've been listening to these two songs. They are great: Drive My Soul (EP Version)and The Last Thing On Your Mind (EP Version)