10/30/2008
10/29/2008
Chapter 2
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. As you may know, a lot of (you know what) happened to me lately. I was really not in the blogging mood. BUT I am surprised how quickly I am recovering from the mess. I am happy now. Really! I was able to meet a few guys online and hang out with them in person. I feel it's time to introduce some new characters to this new chapter of my life. You will probably hear me talk about them a lot in the near future.
1. KY Boy is one year older than me. All I can say is, KY here is not the lubricant brand. I met KY Boy before the breakup. He was on break with his boyfriend at that time as well. They broke up just a couple weeks before The Ex and I did. We have a lot in common. We had the same major in college and similar interests. Heck, our boyfriends (ex-boyfriends now) ever have the same first name. I call him my white twin. He's very cute and extremely mature. He's successful in his career. I don't want to sound shallow, but I like guys with financial stability. It's not because I can get expensive presents or go to nice dinners, but it just gives me an extra sense of safety if you know what I mean. KY Boy said he's not ready to date or get into another relationship right now. It's totally understandable. He admitted that he still had feelings for his ex, but at the same time he's really attracted to me as well. We will see what happens. I am not going to force him to do anything or try to talk him into going on a date with me, especially knowing that he is still not completely over his previous relationship. I will not choose to be his rebound.
2. Pomona Boy is a college sophomore. I met Pomona Boy very recently (2 weeks ago perhaps) and we hung out for the first time last Friday night. We were going to go bowling, but I was too tired, so we just talked and watched some TV at his dorm room. What I like about Pomona Boy is that he's been learning Chinese since middle or high school, so he speaks Chinese fairly well. He also knows a lot about my culture. He's passionate about the environment and current events, and does every bit to help (recycling, volunteering, etc.). He's also very cute with a nice personality. He plays violin and piano. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this on this blog, but I have a thing for guys that play piano. If a guy dresses up in a suit and plays piano for me, I... will... melt.... We might go for bowling for real this Friday. I am usually not attracted to younger guys, but he's mature for his age. We will see...
3. Photo Boy is also younger than me. I've known Photo Boy for the longest (a few months) out of these three boys, but we didn't start hanging out until recently. He is a student and is a part time photographer (hence the name). He knew about my situation (before and after the breakup), and as a good friend, he tried to cheer me up during my down times. Because of his job, he gets to go to various events in LA and Hollywood, and he would invite me to go along and meet new people. I am really grateful that he helped me out. Personality wise, he's just a great guy. I feel he's too innocent to live in LA, but he's from a small town, so I am glad that LA hasn't corrupted him yet. To be honest though, I only see Photo Boy as a friend, but I see myself being friends with him for a very long time, and that's why I decided to talk about him here. (Not that he's not cute. He is, but just not really my type).
Alright, I think that's all for now. If there's anything new, I will be sure to share. I feel like such a whore. :-)
Oh by the way, I've been listening to these two songs. They are great: Drive My Soul (EP Version)
and The Last Thing On Your Mind (EP Version)
1. KY Boy is one year older than me. All I can say is, KY here is not the lubricant brand. I met KY Boy before the breakup. He was on break with his boyfriend at that time as well. They broke up just a couple weeks before The Ex and I did. We have a lot in common. We had the same major in college and similar interests. Heck, our boyfriends (ex-boyfriends now) ever have the same first name. I call him my white twin. He's very cute and extremely mature. He's successful in his career. I don't want to sound shallow, but I like guys with financial stability. It's not because I can get expensive presents or go to nice dinners, but it just gives me an extra sense of safety if you know what I mean. KY Boy said he's not ready to date or get into another relationship right now. It's totally understandable. He admitted that he still had feelings for his ex, but at the same time he's really attracted to me as well. We will see what happens. I am not going to force him to do anything or try to talk him into going on a date with me, especially knowing that he is still not completely over his previous relationship. I will not choose to be his rebound.
2. Pomona Boy is a college sophomore. I met Pomona Boy very recently (2 weeks ago perhaps) and we hung out for the first time last Friday night. We were going to go bowling, but I was too tired, so we just talked and watched some TV at his dorm room. What I like about Pomona Boy is that he's been learning Chinese since middle or high school, so he speaks Chinese fairly well. He also knows a lot about my culture. He's passionate about the environment and current events, and does every bit to help (recycling, volunteering, etc.). He's also very cute with a nice personality. He plays violin and piano. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this on this blog, but I have a thing for guys that play piano. If a guy dresses up in a suit and plays piano for me, I... will... melt.... We might go for bowling for real this Friday. I am usually not attracted to younger guys, but he's mature for his age. We will see...
3. Photo Boy is also younger than me. I've known Photo Boy for the longest (a few months) out of these three boys, but we didn't start hanging out until recently. He is a student and is a part time photographer (hence the name). He knew about my situation (before and after the breakup), and as a good friend, he tried to cheer me up during my down times. Because of his job, he gets to go to various events in LA and Hollywood, and he would invite me to go along and meet new people. I am really grateful that he helped me out. Personality wise, he's just a great guy. I feel he's too innocent to live in LA, but he's from a small town, so I am glad that LA hasn't corrupted him yet. To be honest though, I only see Photo Boy as a friend, but I see myself being friends with him for a very long time, and that's why I decided to talk about him here. (Not that he's not cute. He is, but just not really my type).
Alright, I think that's all for now. If there's anything new, I will be sure to share. I feel like such a whore. :-)
Oh by the way, I've been listening to these two songs. They are great: Drive My Soul (EP Version)
and The Last Thing On Your Mind (EP Version)Vote NO on Prop 8!!!
Here are some YouTube videos. They are good. Send them to everyone you know or post them on your blog. Let's not let Prop 8 pass!! Vote NO on Prop 8!!!
10/19/2008
The Ex
I don't know how I am supposed to feel. In the past few weeks, I've been extremely depressed. During the day, I put up my happy face at work and act like everything's normal. I have to. When I hang out with my friends (some of them know what's going on), I also put up my happy face. But at the end of the day, especially when I am alone, I jump into a bath trying to relax, and my tears would uncontrolably come out. I can't help but keep thinking I caused the failure of our relationship. The Ex is a really nice person but I was an idiot and did not cherish him. I was the one that pushed him away. Some friends told me that it takes two, and that it's really not one person's fault. I want to believe it. I don't know if it's really true or I just want to think it's true by believing in it.
The Ex used to be a home boy, but he has been going out, a lot, with this particular guy. This is not the same person that he went to Vegas with. They've been chatting for a couple months and started hanging out when we went on break a few weeks ago. Now they talk all the time on the phone like high school girls and hang out a few times during the week. I feel jealous, but at the same time I try and act like I don't care. I've been going to gay.com and other gay social websites trying really hard to find guys to make friends and hang out with. No, I am not looking for hook ups. I just don't want to feel lonely, and seeing The Ex going out so much doesn't help, either.
Right now I am at the point in my life where I don't know where to go and what to do next. I now officially declare that the year 2008 fucking sucks, BIG TIME!
The Ex used to be a home boy, but he has been going out, a lot, with this particular guy. This is not the same person that he went to Vegas with. They've been chatting for a couple months and started hanging out when we went on break a few weeks ago. Now they talk all the time on the phone like high school girls and hang out a few times during the week. I feel jealous, but at the same time I try and act like I don't care. I've been going to gay.com and other gay social websites trying really hard to find guys to make friends and hang out with. No, I am not looking for hook ups. I just don't want to feel lonely, and seeing The Ex going out so much doesn't help, either.
Right now I am at the point in my life where I don't know where to go and what to do next. I now officially declare that the year 2008 fucking sucks, BIG TIME!
10/13/2008
It's Official
It's official. The Boyfriend and I broke up tonight. We tried, but it wasn't working. I've been depressed for the past couple of weeks. I drank a lot. I think I probably had more to drink in the past 2 weeks than all I've had in my life before. I also cried a lot. I feel so lonely sometimes.
I am going to ask for more projects at work tomorrow. Hopefully that will take my minds off things. I have also decided not to drink any more. I am not going to drink my sorrows away. It's not only healthy, but also just temporary. I am going to try very hard to move on.
The Boyfriend will become The Ex.
Will there ever be The Boyfriend v 2.0?
I am going to ask for more projects at work tomorrow. Hopefully that will take my minds off things. I have also decided not to drink any more. I am not going to drink my sorrows away. It's not only healthy, but also just temporary. I am going to try very hard to move on.
The Boyfriend will become The Ex.
Will there ever be The Boyfriend v 2.0?
10/04/2008
Coming Out - Part 2
Please see the post below for part 1 first.
So my friend and I decided to meet at a restaurant in Pasadena that night. It's like in the middle of us. I really appreciate that she drove all this way to have dinner with me and to talk to me. I met her outside and we hugged, more tightly than ever. As we walked into the restaurant, she said "You have to tell me EEEEEEEEEVERYTHING." At the time I still couldn't believe I had told her so I said let me have a drink first. We both ordered a mojito (yum) and then she started her interrogation, and this is how the questions progressed.
"How did you know?"
"How long have you known?"
"Did you date anyone?"
"Are you dating anyone?"
"Tell me how you met them"
"What was the sex like?"
"What did you do during sex?"
"How do you suck a dick? (My mouth always gets so sore, is that normal?)"
I am not going to type my answers to those questions here. Maybe some other time. I needed another drink after that last question. LOL. You have to understand... this is a friend that I've known since college, but we never talked about stuff like this. We hang out occasionally and talk about family, friends, and work, but that's about it. Yet there we were talking about dicks. She was very surprised that I was dating someone all this time since we met but she didn't know. She jokingly suggested that she was upset because I was getting some but she wasn't getting any. She thought I juts didn't care to date girls and was a virgin all this time. Ha ha ha.
We talked about our mutual friends and discussed who else I could tell next. I told her she's probably the only one. She said she felt very special and that she's always wanted a close gay friend. Now she wants to hook me up with "a friend of a friend" that is also gay, and she wants to go to a gay club with me. LOL She's hilarious. I am not a club type of person. I need to look up directions if I need to go to West Hollywood, but I told her we will go one day.
In summary, the night turned out very well. I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction and conversion with her. We had our heart-to-heart session that we never had before, and I am glad that now I have ahag friend that I can be completely honest to and hang out with without worrying about being caught staring at hot guys.
Have a great weekend, guys!
So my friend and I decided to meet at a restaurant in Pasadena that night. It's like in the middle of us. I really appreciate that she drove all this way to have dinner with me and to talk to me. I met her outside and we hugged, more tightly than ever. As we walked into the restaurant, she said "You have to tell me EEEEEEEEEVERYTHING." At the time I still couldn't believe I had told her so I said let me have a drink first. We both ordered a mojito (yum) and then she started her interrogation, and this is how the questions progressed.
"How did you know?"
"How long have you known?"
"Did you date anyone?"
"Are you dating anyone?"
"Tell me how you met them"
"What was the sex like?"
"What did you do during sex?"
"How do you suck a dick? (My mouth always gets so sore, is that normal?)"
I am not going to type my answers to those questions here. Maybe some other time. I needed another drink after that last question. LOL. You have to understand... this is a friend that I've known since college, but we never talked about stuff like this. We hang out occasionally and talk about family, friends, and work, but that's about it. Yet there we were talking about dicks. She was very surprised that I was dating someone all this time since we met but she didn't know. She jokingly suggested that she was upset because I was getting some but she wasn't getting any. She thought I juts didn't care to date girls and was a virgin all this time. Ha ha ha.
We talked about our mutual friends and discussed who else I could tell next. I told her she's probably the only one. She said she felt very special and that she's always wanted a close gay friend. Now she wants to hook me up with "a friend of a friend" that is also gay, and she wants to go to a gay club with me. LOL She's hilarious. I am not a club type of person. I need to look up directions if I need to go to West Hollywood, but I told her we will go one day.
In summary, the night turned out very well. I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction and conversion with her. We had our heart-to-heart session that we never had before, and I am glad that now I have a
Have a great weekend, guys!
10/02/2008
Coming Out
Okay... as open as I may appear to be on this blog, I am actually a very shy person. I take everything in. I don't pour my heart out to anyone. I hardly ever discuss my personal life with my friends. ALL of my non-gay friends don't know about me being gay (yes I am VERY straight-acting.). If you lay on top of me, you won't get burnt (because I am not a flaming queen like Paul is). So due to recent life-changing events, I decided to change how I act and interact socially. I will talk about what recent life changing events are later (or never ha ha!). Today, I made a huge leap forward. I told one of my closest friends (actually my only closest friend, and we really aren't that close) that I am gay... in Gmail and txt messages. Here's a screen-shot of my beautiful iPhone:
I started off by baiting her to tell me her secrets, but she didn't have any. She asked if I had any, and yes since I do have a lot of (Victoria's) secrets in my closet, I said "LOL tons". Then since she had a crappy limited text plan, we chatted online for a while. I told her I worked for the FBI but she didn't believe me. Then I just texted her "Okay. I am gay ha ha" because I didn't want to type that on my work computer. Who knows what kind of monitoring programs my company installed on it.
As I suspected, she was very surprised (see, I am really straight acting!). Half of our conversation in the next 10 minutes were OMG's. She thought I was joking again at first. She also said she did wondered why I never dated any girls but she thought maybe I just didn't care to. It never crossed her mind that I would be gay. Well, tough luck sister, life is full of shit and surprises like this. If my life were a season of 24, this would be THE cliffhanger of one of the episodes.
She then asked me a bunch of questions which I said I would answer over dinner. She cancelled her dinner plans with other people right away so she could have dinner with me tonight (LOL). I will let you guys know how that goes.
Anyway, I am just glad and happy that I told her. Right now I am still a little shocked and in disbelief though. My lunch must have been poisoned...
I started off by baiting her to tell me her secrets, but she didn't have any. She asked if I had any, and yes since I do have a lot of (Victoria's) secrets in my closet, I said "LOL tons". Then since she had a crappy limited text plan, we chatted online for a while. I told her I worked for the FBI but she didn't believe me. Then I just texted her "Okay. I am gay ha ha" because I didn't want to type that on my work computer. Who knows what kind of monitoring programs my company installed on it.As I suspected, she was very surprised (see, I am really straight acting!). Half of our conversation in the next 10 minutes were OMG's. She thought I was joking again at first. She also said she did wondered why I never dated any girls but she thought maybe I just didn't care to. It never crossed her mind that I would be gay. Well, tough luck sister, life is full of shit and surprises like this. If my life were a season of 24, this would be THE cliffhanger of one of the episodes.
She then asked me a bunch of questions which I said I would answer over dinner. She cancelled her dinner plans with other people right away so she could have dinner with me tonight (LOL). I will let you guys know how that goes.
Anyway, I am just glad and happy that I told her. Right now I am still a little shocked and in disbelief though. My lunch must have been poisoned...
10/01/2008
I Need a Date
I need a date this Friday night. Can anyone in L.A. hook me up? He he I am normal and don't eat humans. That should be assuring enough, right? Dinner and then a drink at the Abbey in West Hollywood perhaps? Omg how strange can I be to look for a date on my blog? :-)
Grey's Anatomy - Last Kiss
I watched this episode from season 4 of Grey's Anatomy last night. It was so sad... It made me cry. :(
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